Hallo-What?

I have never been a big fan of Halloween (e.g. I hide when the doorbell rings).

Darling Husband thinks it should be a monthly event.

When I told him I was preggo, I could see the glimmering orange hope that Halloween would be reclaimed for his household.

Baby Boy, however, inherited my anti-Oct 31 gene.

He likes the IDEA of it, case in point the three fancy costumes he promised he would wear and are still on the hangers. (He hoards costumes like I do shoes. The problem with commercial costumes is that they disintegrate on Nov 1.)

This morning he told me he wanted to be a ghost. At Target, the closest they had was a Mummy. (I cut 800-thread count sheets for no one!) He told the cashier he was going to be a "Mommy."

He helped pick out Peanut Butter cups--the full-size ones. (I ate most of them yesterday and he hid the rest once I told him we had to share with the neighbors.)

It is 7:42. DH and BB are asleep. I threw a bowl of raisins and black toothbrushes (BB did a spectacular job hiding the Reece's) on the porch for latecomers and I am now sitting in the dark fully aware that the dog has discovered this surprise bowl of Treats.

I have only myself to blame when we get egged.

The Pull-Up Junkie

I started noticing the lack of potty trips a few days ago.

Every hour, after leaving strategically placed juices around, I would ask Baby Boy if he had to pee.

I always got a NO.

I also noticed his room smelled like pee. Under his bed were several used Pull Ups. (He has been potty trained for months.)

When shown the evidence, BB blanched.

"I think those Daddy's."

"I think they probably aren't," I said. "Can you tell me why a Big Boy like you are using your little guy Pull Ups again?"

He shrugged. "I don't like missing fun stuff to go pee."

I would lecture him but I know exactly how he feels.

I'll Scratch Your Back... if You Drop the Toothbrush

The whining went on incessantly. All day.

Baby Boy: "My back huuuuuurtsssssss."

"Sorry about that, Buddy. Can you show me where?" As his hands reached around to every reachable posterior surface.

Jealous of his flexibility, I soon panicked that he might have meningitis and should be taking his complaints seriously. I ran to find him and take his temperature.

I found him in the bathroom rubbing his new Spiderman electric toothbrush haphazardly across his lower back.

(Yes, with toothpaste.)

I couldn't even begin to guess.

Apparently, upon purchase, Darling Husband had told him the spinning toothbrush resembled a back massager.

Not being quite sure the bristles hadn't come exceedingly close to his bum, I gave him a quick lesson in the finer points of finger-brushing.

Apologies Run on Donuts

I totally effed up something DH asked me to do. He is going to be really mad, but I hope following up my admission with, "But I bought a machine to make donuts with!" may curb his yelling at me.

Any other suggestions?

Up All Night

Poor Baby Boy was up all night with Krupp. You know, that cough that makes the afflicted sound like a barking seal. (Without the red ball on their nose, fish or anything resembling a fun, circus atmosphere.)

Hence, I too, was up all night. I crawled into bed to cuddle with BB and to make sure he kept breathing. Around 2 am, he finally fell asleep. Half on me. I had to pee very badly, but I knew if I moved he would wake up and the crying and coughing fits would resume.

I have given "sleeping in the wet spot" a whole new (very unromantic) meaning.

Baby Daddy Sayz

Amongst the things Darling Husband never bet he would say once he had a son, I think this ranks pretty high:

"Babe, don't put the doll house right there. How is he going to get to his kitchen?"

Hmmmm mmmm, I love me some modern men.

The First Bite is the Best, times 1000.

The best part of an 80-degree day in October? Apple picking with Baby Boy.

The most interesting part? Finding a quick way to use four pounds of apples that all have one bite taken out of them.