The Real Classroom

I met my brother and niece at the playground this morning. There was a mother who was pushing her 14-month old son on the swing. Each time the infant made contact with her hands she would shove him away but not before screaming a Spanish number at him.

There is nothing as harmonious as Spanish with a Maine accent.

"OOO-NUH!"

"DUH!"

"TREES!"

"QATT-RAH!"

Well, no Red Neck was going to outshine me. I decided to bellow German numbers at Baby Boy.

(Keep in mind I know not a word of German, yet I suspected no one was about to call me out on my attempt. It also helped allergy season has arrived early.)

"OONCH!"

"DUSCHE!"

"TRECHGGZZZZFF!"

My brother chimed in with Sanskrit, while I was about to start carving heiroglyphics on the picnic table. Mama Espanol quickly fled.

My brother and I weren't very popular in high school and now I am starting to figure out why.