Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Oh, Where? Oh, Where Has my Sexiness Gone?

The statute of limitations has run out on, "I just had a baby!" to explain my sloppy appearance, bat arms, dark roots and constantly hairy nether region. 16-months in and Baby Boy is too cute to carry the burden of my flappy thighs any longer. Though he hasn't said anything, my husband is surely wondering what happened to the bombshell he married. I am, too. 
 So, short of getting PG again and chalking it all up to, "Well, I'm preggo, of course I have cankles!" I need to take some action. I am not only talking about weight. I am talking about reclaiming bit by bit all the sexy power I wielded so ferociously pre-Baby. I am sure I am not alone in, on the dark days, fantasizing that my Darling Husband is going to leave me for some taut 20-something. Are men strong enough to choose homemade (or microwaved, at least) chicken pot pie over flat tummies and girls who stay awake past 9pm? 
Granted, the only time Moms have during a day to get stuff done is during naptime, which depending on the day can be 15 minutes or maybe 2 hours. That sacred time is devoted to laundry, cooking, cleaning and all the other stuff that doesn't make my nails manicured or my ass tight. 
But I once read that, "If it is important to you, you find the time." God knows I find time to watch all the Real Housewives shows on Bravo. 
It was just the Jewish New Year, and though I am about as Shikseh as they come, I am going to make a New Year's resolution that starts today. I am going to spend each nap time to do one thing that makes me feel sexy. It may be simple, quick, luxurious, who knows....but I am up for the challenge. I know that the majority of moms, in sacrificing to put all their energy and focus into their families, tend to give up even looking in the mirror in order to save precious time.
Total self-sacrifice stops now! If Mama ain't happy ain't no one happy!
I will see you tomorrow so we can all share in the Sexy Nap time ritual!

1 comment:

  1. Hide all of your comfy sweat pants so you're not tempted to throw them on when you're running around after your petite bebe! Even though I don't have a child, I always feel like a schlub when I am not wearing some kind of pants that aren't stretchy. Jeans always help reign in my dimply ass so it at least LOOKS more tempting to the male eye...