Saturday, November 5, 2011

Big Hair, Big Plans

I recently dyed my hair very dark and got bangs. I love it but still haven't found a style that works. The dark red isn't suitable for the "messy beach blonde" I could (almost) get away with before.

Darling Husband and I had a date a few nights ago. I dug out the hot rollers and decided some big, sexy curls would set the tone for a fun eve.

Of course Baby Boy's dinner and bath time took over. An hour passed. When I finally took the curlers out, my hair was frozen in giant boxy angles 4-inches in every direction.

"Holy Sh*t!" I screamed. Baby Boy threw that right back at me. (I didn't know he had come in for his toothbrush.) He skipped out singing his formerly favorite phrase that took us months to cut from his repertoire.

I had bigger things to worry about.

I went to work with a pick and a can of Big Sexy in hopes of smoothing it out.

I looked like an extra from Dynasty.

Darling Husband knew better than to tell me to dunk my head and start anew. So we drove in silence to the restaurant. With the top down.

He dropped me off close to the street the restaurant was on so he could grab a spot. I ducked up a dark hill and felt daggers scrape my skull. Convinced the demons were psyched they had found a suitable trollop for Satan and were dragging me to the underworld, I flailed my arms twisting the branches of the low tree I had walked into even deeper into my rat's nest.

I stayed hunched over and completely stuck until a group of 20-somethings pried me out. I am not even going to tell you what that escapade did to my hair, but needless to say we ended up with take out.

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