I had ten things on my TO-DO list for the day. After accomplishing two of them , I decided to treat myself to some fabulous new yoga pants (and a dress and a shirt and...).
Since I don't have a boss, I need to reward myself for a job well (partly) done.
My last stop was to dump three giant bags of beer, wine and vodka bottles at the donation bin. This is akin to winning lottery for bums. They get a buffet of returnables (sorry Lions Club) as well as the last drops people leave in all the bottoms.
I was heaving my second bag in when a Mr. Nosey Pants started in with, "Ooo, looks like someone had a wedding." gesturing at the Patron bottle peeking out from an impending rip. This bag was about as awkward as a body rolled in a rug and he didn't offer to help but kept on with his guessing. "Graduation? Birthday party?"
I looked at him dead in the eye and said, "Nope, just a Monday."
That shut him up but not in time for me to realize that my bag of new clothes is now mixed amongst the drippings and chippings of a liquor bin.
When we were in St. Barth's a few years ago, we ended up at this amazing Angel party where everyone was dressed in white with gorgeous wings that were all feathers and silver sparkles.
Even though I had to leave most of my clothes behind to make room, I smuggled a pair of said wings back state-side. I figured I would make an occasion in my life where I would wear these and make everyone squirm with envy. I lost track of them until Baby Boy came marching out of my closet with them on.
"Hey, buddy careful with those! Those are from far away and Daddy said he would never let me go to a place that expensive again." I said.
I looked closer as he posed with his bum stuck out, his hands on his hips and his lips like a fish.
"Why are you standing like that?"
"I'm an angel like in Daddy's books."
Ah, Victoria's Secret strikes again.
Well, with BB's mile long lashes, perfect teeth and cellulite-free thighs, he may be just what they are looking for.