Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Basketball Diaries, Week 2

Last week I shared Baby Boy's first experience with team sports: http://sexynaptime.blogspot.com/2012/01/lil-ballers.html

Today was his second.

After my fashion faux pas of last time, I knew better. I came prepared in my finest sports gear i.e. black yoga garb covered in dog hair and hiking boots. Take that white velour track suit lady!

This week, the kids were much more confident in their ability to get away with shenanigans. "Walk" is not a recognizable word in the vocabulary of 4-year olds. They zoomed around the Coach, who screamed, "No running!! Just walk! Stop running!" He looked embarrassingly to the parents for help, who avoided eye contact. (What else are we paying him $50 for?)

The one girl in the class was decked out in head-to-toe pink. Her mother was apparently using this as an excuse to complete her "well-rounded" portfolio for Miss Little Sunshine. She cornered the girl in a well-lit corner of the gym with a basketball forcing her to pose in various "sporty" positions. I stopped gawking after she pulled out the lip gloss.

"NOW," yelled Coach. "We are going to play a game called Sharks and Guppies! Your parents, the weak little guppies, are going to swim by and you, the HUNGRY sharks, have to hit them with basketballs. That means you ATE them!"

The evil gleam that appeared in the eyes of 11-tots was scary to even the biggest Dad. This was my chance to escape into the bathroom and reapply my own lipgloss. After a calculated 6-minutes, I opened the door. Baby Boy was waiting for me with a wicked grin and a ball.

As it ricocheted off my chin, I heard him say, "Don't worry Mama, you are still handsome."

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