Once you have read your child's favorite book 10,000 times, you start to recreate the story to entertain yourself. I am about to hide Pat the Bunny for a few days (out of sight, out of mind) but before I do, here is my vandalized version:
PAT THE WIFEY
Here are husband and wifey. They do lots of things. Here are some of the things they do.
Wifey pats the husband. Husband falls asleep.
Wifey plays "I have a headache." Husband plays "I didn't order all that porn."
Wifey asks for flowers. Husband tells her to buy some the next time she is at the supermarket.
Wifey looks in the mirror at her saggy boobs. Husband looks in the mirror and trims his nose hair.
Husband feels Wifey's scratchy legs. Wifey uses Husband's "good razors" to shave scratchy legs.
Wifey puts her finger through her ring and wishes it was bigger.
That's all. Bye-Bye! Husband and Wifey are flipping you off! Can you flip them off, too!
For the record this is NOT autobiographical.