Monday, November 16, 2009

A-B-C is as Easy as....$7500.00

What is Unsexy are my bubbies. They were fine pre-baby--not huge, but at least they didn't go through the days staring at my feet. I never had a problem with them--except when once during foreplay, a boy said they were "cute and perky," which really isn't the most sensual language one can hear. Next time we fooled around, I told him his P was "cute and perky." We never saw each other again.
So 8 months after breast feeding and my boobs are sad, deflated zucchinis and though I appreciate and respect (blah, blah, blah) their function in nourishing my son, as a woman I am horrified at what they have become--what I am sporting makes me looks like a less tan Magda from Something About Mary.
After thinking about getting them lifted, (and that is what I am telling people even though I want to go all out and get them DONE) I called to have a consultation. The place I chose has this state-o-the-art 3-D imaging program so you can really see what different sizes will look like on you.
I don't think I am a boob-job type of gal, but I think if I can walk away not looking like a porn star but like Blake Lively, I will be really happy.
Then again, after I get a copy of a picture of me as a "full C" maybe that will be all I need to sate my need for fabulous breasts. I can hang that on the fridge, keep buying Stage 5 padded bras and no one will be the wiser--except my toes that feel constantly judged from my nipples that they really need a pedicure.

No comments:

Post a Comment