Another Halloween has passed, i.e. Dress up as a Slutty nurse/teacher/bunny Day--damn those slutty rabbits! My BFF and I dressed as Before and Afters--she was the Before in black stilettos, black dress, pink apron, perfect hair and nails, holding a tray of handmade meat pies. I, the After, dressed in rollers, bright green cleansing mask (which was actually frosting b/c the mask, when dry, made it impossible to speak), unflattering pajamas, slippers and I held a bottle of wine called Mad Housewife.
Long after the kids had gone to bed, and the butter-based frosting had guaranteed me a breakout worthy of 10th grade, the ladies got into a discussion about how we felt some husbands haven't "held up their end of the bargain" since marriage. It boiled down to that the men bent over backwards to get us to be their wives: trips, jewels, poems, flowers, watching shows on Bravo...none of us could even recall the last time we got flowers. One husband told his wife when she remarked on this that, "Every time you buy flowers at the grocery store, who do you think pays for those?"
But have we held up our end of the proverbial bargain? When I think about how much time I spent in the gym and how much money I spent on waxing and blow outs to "get a husband," that isn't feasible for my current lifestyle. But there is a wonderful intimacy that comes with being married that we tend to write off because it doesn't feel the same as the all encompassing
lust that comes with dating.
We need to shift focus from being pissed off that that feeling is gone (occasionally stirred when the hot UPS driver pulls in) to embracing the other ways our husbands show us they care.
Some recent things I thought of: letting me sleep in this morning until almost 9am; going to the grocery store without being asked and getting all the right brands of food; bringing home Thai for dinner even though he was already miles past the restaurant when I called asking for it; washing my car...these are just a few. Granted, they are more subtle and not as sweep-me-off-my-feet as diamond earrings, but made me feel so loved and part of a team.
Now ladies, we need to come up with a few things we know they love. Mine include: cook him a steak even though I am a vegetarian and basically force him to be as well; move some of his Netflix picks to the top half of the queue; stop throwing away his Megan Fox Rolling Stone; actually give him the neck rub that I promise nightly...and when in doubt, blow jobs are never wrong.