If We are What We Eat, Then...

This is how the conversation went in the morning:

ME: "Are you eating something? What is in your mouth?"

Baby Boy: "Mshakjhdfs fjmmmmm (swallow) NO!"

ME as I try to pry open his lips: "It is not snack time! I am making you breakfast!" As wet, lumps of chocolately bits splattered onto my bare feet. "Spit the rest out in the trash!"

This is how the conversation went last night.

Baby Boy: "Mama what in yourn mouth? Want in mine mouth, too!"

ME, with my back to him as I try to swallow whole M and M's which are sacred for potty training: "Nothing honey I am just trying not to sneeze."

BB: "No, mama. See you chew! What is?? What is!!!!!!!"

As a blue M and M escaped and rolled over to his foot, I knew I was busted. Then my sweet boy says, "Oh! Good mama. Means Mama peed on potty. Get M-uh-M's. Mama pee more?"

So forgiving at that age...

Sexy Bait and Switch

The proverbial pot of gold at the end of the potty training rainbow is filled with M and M's.

The sad part is, that I ate all the "gold" when I was buzzed last night.

Ooops.

Sexy Pee...Tea?

I was becoming increasingly impressed that when I would walk by Baby Boy's training potty that it often would have pee in it. Unasked for pee in the potty is one of the more exciting parts of potty training.

If you have toddlers, you know the most important algebraic equation is P+P=M&M (Pee in the Potty equals M and M's).

It was getting to the point where I was considering buying stock in the M & M company.

This morning, I saw BB pouring my leftover tea into his potty and it all became clear.

They pull what ever camomile-colored wool over your eyes in order to get the prize.

How Coconut MandM's Saved a Man's Life

I was at the grocery store yesterday afternoon. As I was perusing the eggplants, I felt someone standing way to close to me. Then a voice said in my ear, "Damn that I never got to hit that."

I turned around to see an odious man decked out like he was a coach for a little league game with a boozy smile staring at my boobs.

As I opened my mouth to berate him with words way above his level of understanding, he got an eye-level view of what a chewed-up handful of coconut M and M's looks like.

I guess that was all the motivation he needed to flee the scene.

Bless you tiny bits of chocolately heaven. Bless you on so many levels.

Sexy Gorp

I love trail mix. Actually, I love picking the M & M's out of the trail mix and calling it a day.

I made the mistake of eating some trail mix in front of Baby Boy the other day. He, of course, as he is in a Monkey-See Monkey phase, wanted some.

I picked out microscopic pieces of peanuts and some soft raisins to dump into his jungle bowl (the only thing he will eat out of these days). He gobbled it up and asked for "Mo! Mo!"

On this second helping, a damn M & M made its way into his bowl. When he quickly asked for "Mo!" I saw his bowl was still full, minus the chocolate. Now, like mother like son, he is quite adept at picking out the

M & M's from amidst the raisins and nuts and calling it a day.

I don't know why I just stop kidding myself and start buying bags of plain M & M's. I guess it feels healthier this way.