I received an email from a friend that she was having a Wreath Making Party tonight. I assumed, like a Book Club, it was an excuse to ditch the fam for a few, drink and gossip.
Upon entering the dining room, I saw women crouched in high levels of concentration, wearing GLOVES with personalized stem cutters sifting through crates of pine cones, berries, glitter and doves that they had brought.
I brought wine.
They saw me before I could flee.
"Where are your materials?" one asked, gaping in horror at my empty hands.
LIE: "I used them already during a marathon session another friend had this morning. My wrists are killing me!"
I sat down awkwardly at an empty stool and sipped (gulped) my wine, hoping someone would be like, "Yes! Finally someone I can talk with that isn't obsessed with leafy decor!"
I tried to offer critiques, such as, " Maybe if you balanced off that cardinal with a Baby Jesus, it would look more Feng Shui..."
But I think next time I get invited to an arts and crafts night, I will decline in hopes a Book Club gets scheduled for the same night at a local bar.