Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Sexy Surface Cleaning

Once you have kids the concept of cleaning the house in a thorough manner pretty much goes the direction of one's waistline: away.

Here is the Sexy Mama's Guide to Surface Cleaning...your friends, husband, dinner guests and children will never know about the inches of dirt under the rugs or entire meals behind the couch.

UPON ENTERING your home, the smell is the first indication that you just spent hours scrubbing. Spray Windex around the doorway about 20 mins before expecting guests. Also, be putting away a roll of paper towels as soon as they see you with a breathless, "Gosh, sorry. I just got done mopping and the time just slipped away!"

IN THE KITCHEN you also want a smell but rather than ammonia something sweet or spicy--something that will whip up visions of you cooking the day away. Light candles that smell like Vanilla cookies, apple pie or cider.

STOCK UP on fabulous little gourmet frozen appetizers like quiches, frozen chocolate croissants, cashews, champagne and raspberry liquor...there is never an inappropriate time to serve these and they are practically no work. Serve them on your wedding china--yes, this is exactly what you have been saving them for.

SCREW THE ROOMS no one is going to see. If you have friends coming over don't clean what they won't see. Unless you have a brand new nursery to show off, shove the kids' rooms full of the clutter from the living and dining rooms. People expect the kids' rooms to be messy--even if it is with old New York Times and overdue bills.

MAKE THE BATHROOM beautiful. Buy fancy towels, little candles, a gorgeous mirror, lovely flowers--this is a space that people will use to judge the whole appearance of your home.

LOVE YOUR DIMMERS nothing says clean like what you can't see! Hide that dust and fuzz with mood lighting. Plus it also hides your "laugh lines"...

DISTRACT WITH MUSIC play a sexy iPOD playlist and when the conversation lulls and people's eyes start wandering to the nests on top of your cabinets, you can redirect to the funky song that is playing--mimicking Single Ladies will never be old.

SHOW OFF YOUR LADIES these days there is no excuse to not have rockin' cleavage. If you don't naturally have bazooms, Vicky's has these new Stage 5 bras that literally make you 2 cup sizes bigger--INVEST!!

AND DON'T WORRY this is our dirty little secret--after all, isn't life really about how it appears at first glance?

No comments:

Post a Comment