Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Real Sexy Beach Babies of Jersey

Back at Banned Beach (http://sexynaptime.blogspot.com/2010/08/sexy-beach-day.html).

The first thing I noticed when we pulled up was a giant van with THE OUTDOOR CLUB OF SOUTH JERSEY slabbed on the side.

The second thing I noticed was a line of over-tanned, over-processed, over-bleached women in matching chairs all pointing directly into the sun. Apparently the mission statement of the Outdoor Club is to "bring women to small, semi-private beaches along the Maine coast so they can smoke, text, read People and paint their nails in the serenity only not-Jersey can offer."

Share Jersey! Share the wealth!

We lasted until the bikini tops came off and the fifth round of Marlboro Lights sparked.

"Whadda they gonna do," rasped one woman as she slathered oil on her zucchini boobs. "Arrest us? HAHAHAHHAHAHA coughcoughcough."

If we ever go back to that beach, I am bringing sage to burn.

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