Monday, August 2, 2010

Sexy Beach Day

I have always wondered at the moms who can load up the brood for a whole day at the beach. I itch just thinking about the pounds of sand and tubes of suntan lotion that end up all over, well...everything. For months.

Today, on the spur of the moment, I decided to go with the flow of summer and pack up for a few hours at the local lake beach. Optimistically, I even packed a few gossip rags just in case Baby Boy decided to nap in his giant LL Bean Suntent (that actually takes about 4 men to set up. Optimistic, I tell you).

Now, two local beaches are closed due to high-levels of E. Coli in the water. This occurs when obvious environmentalists leave this behind, (and the dinner time news is not shy about posting videos of) poop, diapers filled with poop and used condoms.

People are on edge.

The first 30-mins was great-I was wondering why I hadn't done this before. I turned to chug from my thermos of iced-coffee when I hear a screech from a nearby bather.

BB goes running by, naked and holding his crotch--which I have come to learn means anything can happen.

I caught him as he started to pee and tried to soak up as much with my padded bikini top as possible, saying loudly. "Oh you silly one. Stop spilling water on Mommy!"

I quickly packed up as everyone glared at me.

As we sped away, someone yelled. "If this beach closes, it is all your fault!"

"Being tan is overrated," I guess is my new motto of summer.

1 comment:

  1. Well at least he has a cute tush... I say that counts for something.