Today's Sexy Tip is to always have a fabulous stock of champagnes, wines and other liquid treats stocked in your cellar. You never know when an impromptu need for a Kir Royal will call. Don't you dare grab Yellow Tail either! I am talking labels that will equate your mood with silky sheets and barely there nighties. I know it is challenging with kids to separate sippy cups from Chardonnay, so here is a primer that uses your child's moods to dictate what you should be pouring.
For when your little one is in perfect, giggly, happy, snuggly moods:
The natural choice here is a Perrier Jouet Rose Fleur de Champagne. This champagne is the reason champagne exists. Each effervescent sip mirrors how you are as a parent during these golden moments: graceful, sophisticated and elegant (plus, it’s pink!). Dust off the crystal wedding flutes and reward yourself for raising a Stepford Child.
For missed naps/teething/gas when Baby is slightly fussy and just wants to be held: Keep in mind this has to be consumed with one hand, so skip the Cosmos or anything in a triangular vessel. I recommend Sangria or White Wine Spritzer. The point here is the fruit. Since Baby is in close proximity, you can use this as a teachable, as well as a comforting, moment. “See Mommy suck on her oranges and lemons and limes? Mmmm, vitamin C is goooood.”
For those terrible nights when Baby just won’t sleep no matter how you bounce, swing or sway: Listen to your own advice here—warm milk does wonders for you and Babykins…yours just has the added benefit of kaluha and amaretto. Let’s call it the White Fussin’.
For the Mach 5 temper tantrums in confined areas when you actually have the fleeting thought of leaving Baby at the next rest stop (I said fleeting): the only choice here is down-and-dirty-do-it-quick airport-size bottles of anything. Except the Godiva Liquors…they are too sweet and foofy for this.
For those times when Baby Daddy is making you crazy: there is actually a drink called The Black Widow (remember from high school science—black widows eat their mates). It is a rather nasty sounding combo of whiskey, amaretto and chartreuse with a Tobasco topper. This is probably something you would trick him into drinking while you cut up more limes for your Sangria.